Saturday, April 27, 2013

4 Things I have Learned About Motherhood

When people say there is no manual for parenting, they were so right!  I have definitely been learning as I go and I know I will continue to as Chloe grows.  So, I have made a list of 5 things (I am sure this list could be a lot longer but I will spare you!) I have learned on this journey.

1.) People will always be judging you as a parent and want to give you advice.
 When Chloe was around two months, I took her to the store with me and it was rainy outside.  Just like any outing, people stopped us to take a look at the baby.  There was an older woman who said to Chloe in baby talk, "Poor baby, Mommy's got you out in the rain!"  I wanted to say to her in baby talk, "Mind your own business!"  I guess she did not know that rain does not stop just because you need to go grocery shopping.  My point is, people will always look at you with your child and judge everything you do but I have learned to brush it off.  Every mother knows what is right for their child and what works for one family might not work for another.  I am all about getting advice from someone who is a parent.  So, as long as I am not being judged and it is just advice, I will damn sure take all the advice I can get!
  2.) Breastfeeding is MISERABLE!

When I was pregnant with Chloe, I did a lot of researching on breastfeeding and I knew it was something I wanted to do for my child.  I know everyone's experience with breastfeeding is different but I wish someone would have prepared me for how hard it could be mentally and physically.  When she was born, she had a hard time latching and the nurse gave us a nipple shield.  It is basically a nipple for your nipple!  All joking aside, it is supposed to help the baby latch on to the breast better.
It did help but we still had a lot to learn.  It was a little painful but I could handle it but when we took baby home, it was a whole other story.  It was excruciating pain and I was so scared before each feeding.  My boobs were enormous and boy had my nipples got longer.  I know, TMI!  Mentally, I was exhausted and I was upset and crying all the time.  One morning, I woke up and knew Chloe was going to need to be fed and just burst into tears.  I felt I just could not do it anymore.  So, I told Eric and he went and got formula.  I felt so terrible that I was giving her formula when I had something so much better I could give her.  Still to this day, I feel terrible about it and I know if I would have stuck it out, it would have gotten better and that leads me to number three!
3.) You will always feel guilty, even when you shouldn't.
The guilt started before Chloe was even born.  When I as in labor, her oxygen level kept going down and I felt like it was my fault and I felt extremely guilty.  Guilt is definitely apart of motherhood and I will feel guilty for things out of my control or things I should not feel guilty for.  Little things like watching a show while she is perfectly fine in her chair or going back to work make me feel so guilty!  I am sure it will only get worse as she gets older!
4.) Worry is a mother's middle name!
I am sure I am not the only mother who feels their child's tummy to make sure it is moving up and down to make sure they are still alive!  I remember when Chloe was first born, I felt like I had to stay up 24 hours a day to monitor her.  Worrying will drive you up the wall, so I try to worry about things that are really something to worry about but it is hard, let me tell you! 

1 comment:

  1. From the sounds of it you are doing a great job. people will say all kinds of things but the only ones opinion that really matters is you and erics. Do not feel guilty about not brest-feeding longer. You tried and its not for everyone. having a baby changes u mentally and physically so being emotional is ok. your gonna be a great mom and chloe is adorable.